Sunday, March 11, 2012


Ticky-boo has her own iPod.  It's actually the very first iPod I ever had that she has inherited since I've moved on up in the world of Apple products and now sport a handy dandy iPhone 4s.  The Husband and I have picked out loads of music and put it on her iPod in the hopes of teaching her about good music and also soothing her to sleep.  Tonight as I rocked her to sleep, Josh Groban's "Lullaby" came across the speakers.  Now, during our time trying to conceive, there were a couple of songs that I couldn't listen to without crying.  That was one of them.

Its been on her playlist since forever, but I've managed to miss it when rocking her to sleep.  Until tonight.  It came on just as she closed her eyes and fell asleep in my arms.  I sang every word to her in a quiet voice and tears poured out of my eyes.  It was a moment that I had unknowingly been waiting for... to sing her that sweet lullaby.

There have been moments in the past 10 months since we found out about Ticky-boo that have really made this entire journey worth it... things that I either never expected I'd be able to do, or things that I never thought would be that big of a deal or things that I knew would be a big deal and they were.  But those quiet moments for just me and her have been some of the best.  Tonight was one of those nights... rocking her and singing to her made me just melt.  That moment took me back to all those nights when my arms ached from feeling empty and my heart hurt from so much pain... I was reminded of what all we went through and why we fought so hard.  And she is so worth it...She's even worth not


  1. Aren't these little "aha" moments amazing!!!

  2. Hi, fellow adoptive mom here... I found you via the PAIL blogroll. This post really resonates with me. I wrote one kind of similar to it earlier this week about a toy seahorse :)